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Post by D.J Cat on Apr 29, 2023 23:07:09 GMT 10
Can you do a script for a Seinfeld style comedy with Funky Kong, Candy Kong, Tiny Kong and Lanky Kong as the main characters?
It should be set on Donkey Kong island.
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INTRO: (Set to Seinfeld’s theme song.)
FADE IN: Donkey Kong island’s central hub, known as the Kong Koliseum. Funky, Candy and Tiny are sitting on a bench while Lanky is pacing around them.
Funky: So, you’re telling me, Lanky, you lost your bananas again?
Lanky: Yes, funky! I don’t know where… (he scratches his head) …they just vanished into thin air!
Candy: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah? You mean like my hair after swimming?
Laugh track plays.
Tiny: (Trying to solve the problem) Ok, remember the last place you had them, Lanky?
Lanky: Umm… Let me see. Oh yeah, that’s right! It was in my treehouse.
Funky: Let’s go check it out, then. I’ve got the keys to the plane.
SEGUE MUSIC
FADE IN:
Lanky’s treehouse. The place is a mess; a banana peeling is attached to the wall. An evil gorilla, who looks remarkably like King K. Rool, enters from the window.
King: Hello, ladies, and … huh? What are you doing here?
Tiny: (jumping in front of King Kong) Looking for Lanky’s bananas, that’s what.
Lanky: King Kong! You’re the one who stole them?!
King: (smiling naughtily.) That’s right, papito. (Holds out the bananas) These babies just taste so good!
Laugh track plays.
Suddenly, Dixie Kong flies into the treehouse from the skies.
Dixie: (angrily looking at King) Stop right there!
King: Aww, look at the little Pokemon!
Dixie: (correcting him) Kong! (Jumps behind him and reaches for the bananas) Give me those bananas back!
King: (resisting ) No way! (He falls down with Dixie on top of him.)
SEGUE MUSIC
FADE IN:
The prison yard. King K. Rool is in a jumpsuit, doing hard labor while the girl kongs are watching.
Candy: So, King, you finally got locked up, hm?
King: (smirking) Now, girls, don’t you like my blue uniform?
Laugh track plays.
Lanky: I wonder if they gave you a banana for lunch today, eh King Kong?
King: (scowling) That’s it! You’re all banned from the next P K M N tournament!
Tiny: What gives you the right to do that?
King: (breathing heavily) They call me KING for a reason, my dear.
SEGUE MUSIC
FADE IN:
The exterior of Funky’s shack. The four kongs are near the plane.
Funky: (shouting to them above the noise) Forward view sugar-pie, landing gear pod huh-huh, here we GO!
They all jump into the plane, but Lanky does not fit into his seat, so the funkship takes off without him.
Lanky: HEY! Wait a minute, folks!
(Plane noise travels up fade away.)
SEGUE MUSIC
FADE IN:
Funky Kong is working in his plane's garage as Tiny and Candy enter.
Candy: Hey, Funk. It looks like everyone's trying to make a big deal out of this “missing bananas” thing.
Funky: Oh god, another Kong conspiracy theory…
Tiny: What do you mean?
Funky: I’m saying their obsession is driving them bananas!
Laugh track plays.
And suddenly Lanky bursts through the garage door.
Lanky: GUYS! You're not going to believe what happened!
Candy: What happened?
Lanky: (big smile) I found my bananas!!
Tiny: Where were they?
Lanky: (A bit confused for a moment ) Oh boy, I can't remember. (He thinks hard for a moment). But check this Turd out! (Produces an ungodly amount of Bananas from his pockets and throws them into the air) Who's hungry?!
The gang futilely jumps up to snatch tasty bananas as Bananas Interruptus track starts and the camera pans up to the ceiling.
End of show.
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Post by D.J Cat on Apr 30, 2023 12:17:56 GMT 10
NOTE: I enjoyed that one so much I got it to try that again. This seems to constantly produce gold so I might stick to this formula.
INT. FUNKY KONG'S WORKSHOP - DAY
Funky Kong is busy repairing his plane when Candy Kong walks in.
CANDY KONG: Hey Funky, what's up?
FUNKY KONG: Not much, just fixing the old bird here.
CANDY KONG: Is it ready to fly yet?
FUNKY KONG: Almost, I just need a few more parts. Speaking of which, have you seen Tiny and Lanky around?
CANDY KONG: No, I haven't. Why?
FUNKY KONG: They were supposed to bring me some parts for the plane. I hope they didn't get into any trouble.
Cut to another part of the island, where Tiny and Lanky are stuck in a giant spider web.
TINY KONG: Lanky, cut us loose!
LANKY KONG: With what, my arms aren't long enough!
TINY KONG: Use your head!
LANKY KONG: Huh? Oh, right!
Lanky uses his stretchy arms to reach his head and starts using it like a saw to cut through the web.
TINY KONG: Faster Lanky, I can hear the spider coming back!
LANKY KONG: Okay, almost there... got it!
They make a run for it just as the giant spider returns to its web.
Back at Funky's workshop, Candy is helping him with the plane.
CANDY KONG: So what's our plan if those goofballs don't come back with the parts?
FUNKY KONG: We'll have to improvise. Maybe I can use some old parts from my other planes.
Just then, Tiny and Lanky burst into the workshop all disheveled.
TINY KONG: Sorry we're late guys, we got caught in a spider web.
LANKY KONG: Yeah, and we had to use my head to cut ourselves loose!
Funky and Candy exchange a look.
CANDY KONG: That's normal for them. Did you at least bring the parts?
TINY KONG: Oh yeah, we almost forgot about them!
They pull out a bag full of random Diddy Kong-sized machinery.
FUNKY KONG: Alright guys, let's get this plane in the air!
Cut to later that day, with the four of them in the air in Funky's rebuilt plane.
LANKY KONG: Hey, let's fly over DK's treehouse and see what they're up to!
CANDY KONG: Lanky, you know that's a bad idea. Don't you remember the last time?
TINY KONG: What happened last time?
LANKY KONG: The wind shifted and we crashed right into the tree!
FUNKY KONG: That's it, I'm turning this thing around. We're going back to the workshop.
As they start to turn, they hear DK's voice yelling from the treehouse.
DONKEY KONG: Hey, are you guys up there?
FUNKY KONG: Yeah, what's up?
DONKEY KONG: You won't believe what happened! King K. Rool stole all of our bananas again!
The group groans in unison.
LANKY KONG: Oh great, now we have to deal with that nutjob again.
CANDY KONG: Well, it wouldn't be Donkey Kong Island without a little craziness.
FUNKY KONG: Hang on tight everyone, it's time to take on K. Rool and save those bananas!
The plane banks sharply towards K. Rool's lair as the music swells, ready for another epic adventure.
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Post by D.J Cat on Apr 30, 2023 15:29:53 GMT 10
Episode 3 (I mixed up the characters)
INT. CRANKY KONG'S BARREL WORKSHOP - DAY
Cranky Kong is working on a new barrel when Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong come in.
Diddy: Hey, Cranky, what's happening?
Cranky: The usual, trying to keep up with these young monkeys.
Dixie: You know what's happening this weekend? The annual banana festival.
Cranky: Ugh, not the banana festival again.
Diddy: What's your problem with the banana festival, Cranky?
Cranky: It's the same every year. They have the same banana jokes, the same dancing bananas, the same banana smoothies.
Dixie: But we always have a good time.
Cranky: I'm tired of it. You know who would enjoy the banana festival? Redneck Kong.
Diddy: Redneck Kong?
Cranky: Yeah, that guy's bananas!
INT. REDNECK KONG'S TRAILER PARK - DAY
Redneck Kong is sitting outside his trailer eating a banana.
Redneck Kong: Ain't nothin' better than a ripe banana.
Cranky walks up.
Cranky: Hey Redneck Kong, you know what's happening this weekend?
Redneck Kong: What is it?
Cranky: The annual banana festival.
Redneck Kong: Oh boy! You know what they say, when life gives you bananas, make banana bread!
INT. BANANA FESTIVAL - NIGHT
The gang is at the banana festival, listening to a band play banana-themed songs.
Dixie: This is so fun!
Redneck Kong: This is awesome!
Cranky: This is terrible.
Suddenly, they hear a commotion coming from the banana smoothie stand. They walk over to see Diddy and Redneck Kong arguing with the vendor.
Vendor: I'm sorry, we're out of bananas.
Diddy: How can you be out of bananas at the banana festival?
Redneck Kong: This is outrageous! I demand justice!
Cranky steps in.
Cranky: Alright, alright. We'll figure something out.
They walk over to a nearby tree and start picking the bananas off the branches.
Diddy: This is how they used to do it back in the day.
Redneck Kong: I wish I had my shotgun. I'd show them!
They bring their bananas to the smoothie stand and make their own smoothies.
Vendor: Hey, these are pretty good!
Cranky: Of course they are. We're the Kong clan.
The group cheers and enjoys their homemade banana smoothies as the festival continues.
THE END.
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Post by D.J Cat on May 1, 2023 14:28:36 GMT 10
(INT. DONKEY KONG'S APARTMENT - DAY)
Donkey Kong is sitting on his couch, eating a banana.
Donkey Kong: "Man, I've been eating too many bananas lately."
Diddy Kong enters the apartment.
Diddy Kong: "Hey Donkey Kong, have you seen my bongos? I can't find them anywhere."
Donkey Kong: "No, I haven't seen them. Maybe Dixie took them?"
(INT. DIXIE KONG'S APARTMENT - DAY)
Dixie Kong is doing her hair in the mirror.
Dixie Kong: "Why can't I ever get this right?"
Funky Kong enters the apartment.
Funky Kong: "Hey Dixie, I need to borrow your surfboard for a bit."
Dixie Kong: "Sure, just don't break it like you did last time."
Funky Kong: "I told you, that was a shark attack!"
(INT. DONKEY KONG'S APARTMENT - LATER)
Donkey Kong is still eating bananas when there's a knock at the door. He opens it to find Diddy Kong, holding the missing bongos.
Diddy Kong: "Thanks for taking care of these, Donkey. I found them behind the couch."
Donkey Kong: "No problem, Diddy. But why were they behind the couch?"
Diddy Kong: "I don't remember. I think I was really stoned."
Just then, Funky Kong bursts through the door, carrying Dixie's surfboard.
Funky Kong: "Dude, you won't believe it! I caught some major gnarly waves today!"
Dixie Kong enters the apartment.
Dixie Kong: "Funky, you better not have damaged my surfboard again!"
Funky Kong: "Relax, babe. I didn't even get a scratch on it."
Donkey Kong: "Well, that's a relief. Hey, anyone want a banana?"
Everyone groans and shakes their heads.
Donkey Kong: "Tough crowd."
(FADE TO BLACK)
THE END
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Post by D.J Cat on May 1, 2023 14:32:33 GMT 10
Title: Kong Comedy
FADE IN:
INT. DONKEY KONG’S TREE HOUSE - DAY Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Dixie Kong and Funky Kong are hanging out in the tree house.
DONKEY KONG I’m bored today, guys. What should we do?
DIDDY KONG We could go on an adventure and explore the island!
DIXIE KONG Oh, that sounds like a great idea!
FUNKY KONG Or we could just chill and watch some TV.
DONKEY KONG Hmm, TV or adventure? I can’t decide.
Suddenly, there is a knock at the door.
DONKEY KONG Who could that be?
FUNKY KONG (Answering the door) Hey there, Banjo and Kazooie! What brings you to Donkey Kong Island?
BANJO We were just passing by and thought we’d stop to say hi.
KAZOOIE Plus, we heard there was a comedy show tonight and wanted to check it out.
DONKEY KONG Comedy show? That sounds fun!
BANJO Yeah, a traveling group of comedians are performing at the local theater.
DIDDY KONG Let’s go check it out!
The gang heads over to the theater and takes their seats.
THE COMEDY SHOW - NIGHT
The curtains open, revealing two comedians on stage.
COMEDIAN 1 So I was walking through the jungle the other day and I saw a monkey hanging from a tree.
The audience laughed at the joke.
DONKEY KONG (Punching his arm) That’s hilarious!
COMEDIAN 2 What did Donkey Kong say when he met his long-lost cousin? He said, “How you doin’, Kong?”
DIDDY KONG (Rolling his eyes) Lame.
The comedians continue with their set, but as they tell more jokes, the audience grows quieter.
COMEDIAN 1 Is this thing on?
Suddenly, the stage light goes out.
COMEDIAN 2 What the heck?
A spotlight shines on Donkey Kong and the rest of the gang.
DONKEY KONG (Shrugging his shoulders) Guess we’ll have to put on the show ourselves.
The gang jumps onto the stage, taking the comedians’ place.
DIXIE KONG (To the audience) What do you call a sleeping monkey? A snooze-ape!
The audience laughs at Dixie’s joke.
FUNKY KONG (Continuing the routine) How many bananas does it take to make a monkey happy? All of them!
The audience erupts in laughter.
DONKEY KONG (Ending the show) Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.
The unexpected twist makes the audience gasp- and then burst out laughing.
AN ANIMATED CHARACTER suddenly walks onto the stage, shaking hands with Donkey Kong and the rest of the gang.
ANIMATED CHARACTER (Greeting each Kong in turn) Hi, I’m Bugs Bunny. Mind if I join you guys?
FADE OUT.
THE END.
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Post by D.J Cat on May 2, 2023 18:14:21 GMT 10
ACT ONE
INT. DONKEY KONG'S TREEHOUSE - DAY
Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, and Dixie Kong sit eating bananas.
DONKEY KONG: Swanky Kong's hosting a trivia night tonight.
DIDDY KONG: A night of trivia? Count me in!
DIXIE KONG: Me, too!
Funky Kong bursts through the door.
FUNKY KONG: Hey, dudes! What's shaking?
DONKEY KONG: Swanky Kong's hosting trivia tonight.
FUNKY KONG: Oh man, I love trivia! I'm gonna win this thing!
DIDDY KONG: Good luck with that, Funky.
FUNKY KONG: What do you mean?
DIXIE KONG: You're not exactly known for being the sharpest tool in the shed.
FUNKY KONG: Hey! I resent that!
The group shares a laugh.
ACT TWO
INT. THE JUNGLE JIVE - NIGHT
Swanky Kong is on stage with a microphone.
SWANKY KONG: Welcome, one and all, to Swanky Kong's Trivia Night! The first category is...Donkey Kong Island History!
The first few questions go over well, but then the questions get increasingly difficult.
SWANKY KONG: What year did Cranky Kong first move to Donkey Kong Island?
The group stares at each other blankly.
SWANKY KONG: It was 1981, folks! 1981!
Funky Kong tries to answer.
FUNKY KONG: Hey, what year is it now?
Dixie Kong rolls her eyes.
DIXIE KONG: He wasn't even born in 1981.
As the night goes on, the group's confidence dwindles as they keep getting questions wrong.
SWANKY KONG: What type of wood is the Hammer from the first Donkey Kong game made of?
The group is silent.
SWANKY KONG: It's oak! Oak, I tell you!
ACT THREE
INT. DONKEY KONG'S TREEHOUSE - NIGHT
The group sits around defeated.
DONKEY KONG: I can't believe we didn't get a single question right.
DIDDY KONG: I think I need to study more.
FUNKY KONG: Study? What's that?
The group is quiet.
DIXIE KONG: (relieved) At least we can always rely on Swanky to have our backs.
Suddenly, Swanky bursts in, champagne in hand.
SWANKY KONG: Congrats to me and my team! We won tonight's trivia competition!
The group stares at him exhaustedly.
SWANKY KONG: Come on, guys! Let's celebrate my victory!
The group groans.
DONKEY KONG: Can we do this tomorrow, Swanky? We're all pretty tired.
SWANKY KONG: But tonight's the night to party! (to himself) And to rub it in everyone else's faces.
The group begrudgingly follows Swanky out of the treehouse.
FADE TO BLACK.
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Post by D.J Cat on May 2, 2023 18:18:22 GMT 10
Title: The Kongs and Tax Returns
FADE IN:
EXT. DONKEY KONG ISLAND - DAY
Donkey Kong is sitting on his infamous banana pile, alone, looking bored.
DONKEY KONG: (Sighs) I feel restless today. I need something to do that is fun.
Just then, Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong come bouncing over the treetops.
DIDDY KONG: Hey, DK! What's up?
DONKEY KONG: Nothing much. Just bored.
DIXIE KONG: Well, we have something that might help with that. Tiny Kong is coming over.
DONKEY KONG: Really? That's awesome!
Diddy and Dixie exchange a sly smile as they quickly run off.
DONKEY KONG: Hey, wait up! What's going on?
INT. KONG RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Tiny Kong comes in holding her head high.
DIDDY KONG: May we present to you, Tiny Kong in all her up-tightness.
TINY KONG: Hello everyone. I had a very busy week filing tax returns for all the residents of the island, and thought I'd take a break and relax here before starting work again.
FUNKY KONG: (As he enters) Hey, did someone say "break"? Sounds like Funky call! I'm in!
DONKEY KONG: Now this sounds like fun! Let's party!
DIDDY KONG: We could play hide and seek again!
DIXIE KONG: Or- (teasingly) wait, I know! TAX RETURN!
TINY KONG: That's not funny, Tax evasion is a serious offense!
FUNKY KONG: How 'bout a surfing competition? Or going on missions in the jungle?
DONKEY KONG: Those all sound great! Let's go!
The group rushes out of Donkey Kong's residence and onto the island, happily chatting along the way.
As they explore, the Kongs run into a giant red moon.
FUNKY KONG: Whoa, that sure is a big moon tonight!
DONKEY KONG: Yeah, it is! It looks almost like-
Suddenly, the five Kongs are transformed into IN-SYNC dancers on stage INT. CONCERT HALL - NIGHT
An audience is wildly applauding with the applause becoming louder and louder until...
...INT. KONG'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
KONGS are lying on couches, on the floor, half asleep with the sound of REAL cricket chirping.
DIXIE KONG: (As she stretches) Wow! What a dream that was! We should do that again sometime.
TINY KONG: Me? A concert dancer? Never!
FUNKY KONG: But you were awesome, darling!
As the four start drifting back into their own lives, Diddy Kong leans over to Donkey Kong and whispers,
DIDDY KONG: (Biting his upper lip with anticipation building) Hey man, did I miss the part where we all were filing our taxes?
CUT TO BLACK:
THE END
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Post by D.J Cat on May 2, 2023 18:26:02 GMT 10
Title: Kong-troversy
Scene 1: We see Donkey Kong Island on a beautiful sunny day. Donkey Kong is seen walking down the street, munching on a banana.
Donkey Kong: Ah, what a beautiful day on Donkey Kong Island. Nothing can possibly go wrong.
Suddenly, Dixie Kong speeds by him, running faster than usual and shouting.
Dixie Kong: Donkey Kong, have you heard the news?
Donkey Kong: What news, Dixie?
Dixie Kong: It's about Funky Kong and Candy Kong!
Donkey Kong: Funky and Candy? What's going on with them?
Dixie Kong: Well, you won't believe this, but they're dating!
Donkey Kong: Whaaat? That's kong-troversial!
Scene 2: We see Cranky Kong's house. Cranky is seen on his porch, sipping on some juice when Dixie and Donkey Kong run up to him.
Cranky Kong: What's with all the commotion? Can't an old kong enjoy his juice in peace?
Donkey Kong: You won't believe it, Cranky. Funky and Candy are dating!
Cranky Kong: (spits out juice) What? This is unacceptable! I must investigate this immediately.
Dixie Kong: What do you mean investigate?
Cranky Kong: I mean I'm going to sneak around and see what these two are up to.
Donkey Kong: You're going to spy on them?
Cranky Kong: It's for the greater good of Donkey Kong Island!
Scene 3: We see Funky Kong's surfboard shop. Cranky Kong is hiding behind some bushes while peering into the window. He sees something unexpected.
Cranky Kong: (whispers) What in tarnation?! I can't believe what I'm seeing!
Diddy Kong suddenly sneaks up on him, scaring him.
Diddy Kong: What are you doing here, Cranky Kong?
Cranky Kong: Shhh! I'm trying to catch Funky and Candy in the act of... (whispers) dating!
Diddy Kong: Dating? Why is that such a bad thing?
Cranky Kong: It's improper! A kong like Funky should be with someone like...well...me!
Diddy Kong: (laughs) Good luck with that one, old timer.
Scene 4: We see Donkey Kong and Dixie Kong walking by Candy's Candy Shop. They hear some strange noises coming from inside.
Donkey Kong: Hey, what's going on in there?
Dixie Kong: Should we have a peek?
They both open the door slowly and peek inside.
Donkey Kong: Whoa, this is some serious kong-troversy!
They see Funky Kong and Candy Kong playing a new video game - 'Second Edition Kong Racing'.
Dixie Kong: Wait, they're just playing a video game?
Donkey Kong: And here I thought we had a real scandal on our hands!
Scene 5: We see Cranky Kong sulking on his porch.
Diddy Kong: Cheer up, Cranky. Maybe you're just not our resident "kong-father".
Cranky Kong: (light bulb moment) Maybe you're right, Diddy! I realize now that love can happen between anyone! We don't have to fit into predetermined roles. I suppose I was wrong about Funky and Candy.
Donkey Kong, Dixie Kong and Candy Kong appear at Cranky's doorstep.
Donkey Kong: We heard what you said, Cranky! Great job having an open mind!
Dixie Kong: I think it's great that they can make each other happy, regardless of what may seem traditional.
Candy Kong: Hey, maybe we should all play this new game together. It's called 'Second Edition Kong Racing'.
Funky Kong: Yeah and I heard it makes for some fun family time!
Cranky Kong: (smiling) I couldn't agree more. Let's get to it!
The group happily exits the scene as the screen fades to black.
The End
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Post by D.J Cat on May 3, 2023 17:41:46 GMT 10
Title: The Kongspiracy
FADE IN:
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY
Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong are walking through the jungle when they notice something strange.
DIXIE KONG Hey, guys, have you noticed that Chunky Kong has been acting weird lately?
DONKEY KONG Yeah, come to think of it, I haven't seen him in a while.
DIDDY KONG I heard he's been hanging out with Cranky Kong a lot.
DIXIE KONG That doesn't sound good. We should investigate.
Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong make their way towards Cranky Kong's hut.
INT. CRANKY KONG'S HUT - DAY
Chunky Kong is sitting on the couch, surrounded by empty banana peels.
DONKEY KONG What's going on here, Chunky? You've been gone for days!
CHUNKY KONG (looks up at them innocently) Oh, hey guys. I've just been eating bananas. Lots and lots of bananas.
DIDDY KONG (skeptically) Uh-huh. And what's with all these banana peels?
CRANKY KONG (walking into the room) Ah, don't mind him. He's just trying out my new Banana Peel-Based Formulas.
DIXIE KONG What kind of "formulas"?
CRANKY KONG (smugly) Only the best kind! They improve your strength, agility...and intelligence!
The group exchanges confused glances.
DONKEY KONG (interrupting) Wait a minute...intelligence? That's ridiculous!
DIDDY KONG We need proof. Let's take this formula to Funky Kong's lab and run some tests.
INT. FUNKY KONG'S LAB - LATER
Funky Kong is examining the formula.
FUNKY KONG I don't know what's in this stuff, but it sure ain't bananas.
DIDDY KONG And look at these results...it actually decreased Chunky's intelligence!
CRANKY KONG (shrugging) Well, nobody's perfect.
DONKEY KONG (angrily) That's not good enough! We can't let you experiment on our friends like this. It's downright simian!
DIXIE KONG (putting a paw on Donkey Kong's shoulder) Besides, Cranky, you already have your own invention: The Barrel Cannon.
Cranky Kong raises an eyebrow.
CRANKY KONG (touching his beard thoughtfully) Hmm...you may be onto something there...
INT. CRANKY KONG'S HUT - LATER
Cranky Kong gathers the group around as he unveils his latest invention- a new and improved Barrel Cannon.
CRANKY KONG (grinning proudly) Ladies and gentlemen, I give you....THE BARREL CANNON 2.0!
The group stares at the cannon skeptically.
DONKEY KONG (skeptical) What makes this one better than the last one?
CRANKY KONG (smugly) It uses rocket fuel instead of gunpowder.
The group exchanges bewildered glances.
FADE OUT.
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